Pretty Please with Sugar on Top?

So I sat down this morning with the intentions of having an almost-sermon put together by this time. Instead, I have been quite successful in failing to come up with anything even remotely interesting for a sermon. You'd think that at some point along this week, the Holy Spirit would have wanted to guide me a little bit... right? Well, now that I finally think that I've found a direction, I just need to find some way of getting started along that road. So here it is... here's what I'm thinking about...

The Gospel lesson for Sunday is John 6:35, 41-51. It is a continuation of the "Bread of Life" sermon, which began two weeks ago with the feeding of the 5000. Here we here Jesus again tell the crowds that "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." Well, as fantastic as this is... umm... what to preach on? The people grumble, because they misunderstand. Jesus has already fed them with REAL bread, but who does he think he is, claiming that he has come down from heaven? "The Jews" don't get it. How can Jesus claim that he has come down from heaven, when they know his parents! This is a common Johnanine misunderstanding. They are blinded by the physical, and have missed out on what is going on, what Jesus is saying, what Jesus is doing. And what is this whole, "bread of life" talk, anyway?

Well, I think that what Jesus is really trying to say, and what the people are thinking are two different things. The people WANT bread that they can see, feel, and consume... bread of this earth. Why? Because it meets their physical needs, and since Jesus has already shown in the feeding of the 5000 that he can meet their physical needs, they want to make him king. But they wanted to make him an earthly king. Kings were expected to care and provide for their people. Jesus can do that!! But Jesus leaves them, because he will not be made king according to their intentions for an earthly ruler. This passage beginning in v. 41 continues to show the disconnect between what the people think they need, and what Jesus KNOWS they need. Jesus is saying that if they hear (and hence believe), then they have eternal life. It is already theirs! Yes, they will die an earthly death, but they have eternal life. Jesus is saying, "I know you think that this is what you want. But I'm telling you and giving you what you really need! ME!" It's an exchange of sorts. We are being given something bigger... something better!

I saw a Nooma video with Rob Bell last week, and I've been thinking about it ever since. And I think it kind of fits with what is going on in this passage. In the video, Rob tells a story about how he and his wife had taken his 2-year old son to the mall. While they were there, they walked past a kiosk that was selling various toys, and one of these toys was a small ball, attached to a string, which then ties around your wrist (perhaps this is not the point where I admit that I had one such toy sometime ago!). Anyway, the vendor convinced Rob to try this toy out, especially when his son kept admiring them. So Rob put it on his wrist and gave the ball a toss--only to have it come back and hit him square in the face. Rob, with his pride now injured began to walk away, while his son cried out that he wanted one, ending with a whiney "But I NEED it." You see, Rob's son was convinced that this was a great toy, that he now needed. But Rob, knowing that this was most definitely NOT the best toy for his son, took him away in spite of his protests, promising to get him a more suitable toy... one that wouldn't bounce back and hit him in the face. So Rob took his son to a sporting goods store, walked back to the kickballs, and allowed his son to walk out with a shiney new kickball in the color he had picked out. Now, Rob didn't tell this story to talk about how he showed his love for his son by buying him a new toy. The point is, Rob's son thought he knew what he wanted, but Rob knew what it really was that was best for him.

In our gospel lesson for Sunday, we hear about how the Jews think they get it. They think that they know what they understand-- that Jesus is a man, not the "bread of life"; the son of Mary and Joseph, and not "come down from heaven." And they think they know what they want, what is best for them. Real bread. But Jesus knows better. He knows what it is that they really NEED. He turns to them saying, do not complain about this! God already fed your ancestors in the wilderness with manna, but they still died! I am the GOOD bread, the Word of God, and only with me and through me can you know God and live forever. If you eat this bread (aka hear this Word) and believe, you will be raised up forever!"

A friend of mine, in talking about this, reminded me of the Rolling Stones. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need." I don't know about the "trying" part, because I'm not sure that in our world of broken humanity and susceptibilty to sin if we can even try to get what we need. Because after all, it is only God who truly knows what we need. But what I do know is that while we may not always get what we want, God does know what we need, and God provides. And what we really need is Jesus.



So... is this sermon material? I don't know... I suppose we shall see....

Another Time, another town, another everything

Well, I have officially survived my first sermon at my internship site. Go me! :-) I have had positive feedback, as well as some great advice to help me improve my sermon for the next time I preach... aka, two weeks from Sunday. I did, however, break the cardinal rule of preachers, and somehow found myself preaching a stewardship sermon for my first sermon here (I didn't begin the sermon intending to preach stewardship... it just kind of grew into that on its own). Luckily the congregatins seems to have understood that I was not so much pointing towards giving, as much as trusting that what we little we do have and are able to do, is more than enough when offered to Christ.



Anyway, it was a wonderful day. A good friend came to the second service, and I had a chance to catch up with him a little bit before he leaves to begin his internship, and then two of my other bestests came over for me to cook them dinner and spend some time catching up with them. Yesterday, I hit the gym with yet another friend from here, and it was outstanding. I have missed the opportunity to head to the gym, since being away from seminary, and had almost forgotten how much I love the feel of being on a bike or going for a long run, or pushing my muscles to the brink. The endorphins were racing by the time I was done, and I feel amazing. I'm not even nearly as sore as I kind of expected to be! I can't wait to get back... hopefully tonight, and if not, tomorrow early morning for sure!



I also need some advice for how to help a friend in need. It's a difficult situation because I want to be able to be a friend for him, but the situation that he is in, (and the fact that he wants a relationship with me) makes me wonder if my friendship and support may hurt him more than help him... Your prayers for guidance and God's mercy on him and myself would be much appreciated.

Great Strength of Feet

Well, I have officially done it. I seem to have finally moved into the world of being a truly responsible adult. If you know me well, you know that I am the kind of person who always gets her work done on time. There are no exceptions, short of me being in the hospital that will prevent me from turning in an assignment on the day and time it is due. Now, does this mean that I will get the work done far in advance so I can get through the days without pulling all-nighters? No, most definitely not. I'm a skilled procrastinator, and in fact serve as president of the procrastinator's club, because of my amazing creativity in avoiding work. But hell must have finally frozen over, because I actually completed my sermon YESTERDAY--as in FRIDAY... and not even Friday at midnight, but Friday at about 5pm! I know this might sound like a small thing to most people, but I usually just accept the fact that I will be awake until 3am Sunday morning finishing up my sermons. This is a huge feat for me!

Now don't get me wrong, I am also of the firm belief that a sermon is never really... complete. It can always use improving, but to actually have a full manuscript that is ready to be preached this soon in advance is simply beyond my comprehension. So now I wonder... is it being vicar that has turned me into a responsible adult? Or have I simply grown weary of functioning on so little sleep.

Regardless, I now get to have today to read through it a few times, work out what I'm going to say for my children's sermon (and pray I manage to stay on track with it!), and spend the evening cleaning and relaxing in prepartion for Sunday afternoon.

On another note, I am looking forward to my supervisor's return from New Orleans. I have a lot of things that I am looking forward to discussing with him, and there seems to be tons of planning to do for the next few weeks when he'll be away again. I was originally a little anxious at the thought of being left alone so early in my internship, but now that it comes down to it, I'm feeling far more confident than I ever thought I would, and think that maybe this was just what I really needed to grow into my role as vicar.

At any rate, it is sad that it is a Saturday and I am in the office again, when I should be out enjoying my day off, and this beautiful weather, so I suppose I shall wrap up my work here and head on home, first to clean, and then perhaps to enjoy this gorgeous day, either with a swim or by reading a book on my balcony.... Pax to you all... and depending on how the sermon goes tomorrow, maybe I will even consider posting it for further discussion :-)

A gift of bread

So I've been sitting in my office all morning, contemplating what to say for my sermon. Now, don't get me wrong, I have finally reached a decision as to what the main point of my sermon will be. Heck, I've even got my Law and Gospel part figured out. But I'll be darned if I can get the actual sermon flowing.



I went home last night still pondering the gospel lesson for the week, and felt pretty certain that I was going to approach the text from the standpoint of abundance... the miraculous gift of abundance that Jesus provided for the thosands in the feeding... and it wasn't just the abundance of a spiritual gift, but the abundance of something that the people really truly needed to survive--he provided the hungry masses with what they needed most: food. Not teachings and words of solace and comfort, not words to feed the soul, but real, tangible food. But this approach left me feeling uninspired, because the truth is, there is not an abundance of the things which we need, and while the argument can be, and has been made that it is humanity's fault--that if we were willing to share more and take less for ourselves, then there would be more than enough for everyone. God provides, but we take too much for ourselves. While this might provide some explanation, and make it a little more "ok" (not that it really is, but you know what I mean) that people do not have enough, I just don't find this satisfactory.

At any rate, I've been playng out a sermon that would follow this kind of thinking, and I'm just not... inspired. Truth be told, it feels like a lie to stand up and say that. So where to now? Well, here's what I've been thinking (and if I come off as full of crap, then so be it, but it has helped a little to think of it this way). What if it isn't so much about needs being met as it is about the small, seemingly insignificant boy (translated from the Greek literally means, "the smallest of children") giving all that he had, and how Jesus used the gift to bring about a miracle? What if it the message is telling us that what reallymatters is the willingness to give to something, and in our giving, God is able to take our small offering and turn it into something wonderful?

And then there's the whole matter of the testing of the disciples.
Jesus had already performed a miracle of abundance before this, at the wedding at Cana. He has already proven that he can take something small and insignificant (aka, water, although arguably not small and insignificant) and turn it into something marvelous. Yet the disciples, who have certainly witnessed the many things Jesus can do, fail to understand that Jesus can provide what is needed. First Philip fails the test. You can almost hear him laugh at Jesus question: "WHAT? You want us to do WHAT?! Buy bread for over 5000 people? You're nuts!" And poor Andrew, he comes so close, pointint to the boy with the loaves and the fish... but then he too fails, as he turns and says, "yeah, we've got those things, but they're a little boy's lunch--nothing compared to the nuber of people here to feed." So really, what is our lesson here? Is it about the giving? Or is it about having faith that God will provide through Jesus?

And so there it is. I don't quite yet know what to do with it, were to go with it, or how to really make it work, but at anyrate, this is what I've been thinking about. Let us hop that something will come out of these ramblings and mind-wanderings by Sunday... and preferably something good, guided by the Holy Spirit...

Blogging?

Ok, so it is official. Hell must have finally frozen over, because I have been sucked into the world that is blogging. I suppose this is not the end of the world, however... at least I hope that it is not, but should it be, my apologies to all for providing the catalyst which will bring about the apocalypse.

So what is it that I am doing with this, when I had been so very adament to avoid falling into the world that so many in my generation have become victim to? Well, truth be told, I think I need a place where I can put down my thoughts, which will hopefully spark some discussion... and if no discussion is sparked, then at least I have shared a piece of my mind out there in the big somewhere (wherever our thoughts go when they are put onto the world-wide web). My intention is to remain at least semi-anonymous, and all names shall be changed to protect the innocent. This will be a place for me to dig through my thoughts on whatever topic I so choose, be it religion, questions of theology, ponderings over scriptural texts (and sermon preparations!), politics, local happenings, world-wide news, sports, art, music.... you get the idea.

So here it is... my first thoughts to be posted. I'm scheduled to preach this Sunday at my internship site. This will be the first sermon that I will be preaching here, and am finding myself stuck in a horrendous rut. I am simply not feeling inspired whatsoever by the scriptural lessons. It's not that they are interesting. I mean, c'mon! Jesus feeds more than 5000 people with only 5 small barley loves and 2 fish? With 12 baskets collected of leftovers? It's a miracle of abundance, that much is clear. And it's exciting to think that God provides such abundance in the face of our needs. The commentaries that I have looked provide some very interesting takes on the gospel. So it's not that I am not interested, and even excited by the good news we are given here. Rather, I am simply feeling uninspired with preaching it. I find that all too often my sermons come across as academic lectures, and people don't want to hear the Word spoken in such a way. They want to hear what it means to them. Yet, how do I speak to a people of such varied backgrounds? This is a semi-urban congregation, and in it we have those people who can easily afford to buy bread and eat in abundance, whenever they desire. At the same time, we also have members who struggle to make ends meet. How do I preach a word to them that God provides for our most basic, physical needs as well as our spiritual needs, when so many of them do not have their basic needs met? Alas, I am caught in that paradox of a Word of hope, over and against the world of reality... there is a terrible tension there, that I am struggling with approaching. And my solution to such a struggle? To procrastinate, in hopes that my desperation at midnight Saturday night will produce a fruitful and brilliant insight which I can carry to the people.

At any rate, there it is for now. I am sitting alone in the church, and finding that perhaps I had best go home to my apartment, sit on my deck with a glass of wine, and continue to ponder the words of the gospel, and ways in which I will take it to the people, the Holy Spirit willing.